My 2015: A baby step towards a better me

Isn’t it funny how things unfold during the course of a year?

Life always has a way of surprising us. You might not realize it as it happens but when you look back, that’s when it’ll hit you bigtime.

I’ll always remember 2015 as the year when I took the first baby steps to get out of my shell. There is still a long way to go, but hey, what matters is that I am actually doing something about it, right? There were some failed attempts, heartaches here and there, as well as plans that didn’t materialize, but there were also a lot of realizations, little victories, and lessons learned. I guess it’s safe to say that 2015 is breakeven.

Gaining weight

At the start of 2015, I jokingly wished to gain a little more weight. Slowly, it actually happened. Well, I still look slim, but my cheeks are noticeably bigger. I also ditched two pairs of jeans because they didn’t fit anymore. I am not complaining though. I’d like to think it means I earn enough money to buy myself and my family the food that we want to eat.

Travelling

This year also sparked my desire to travel. I am known as the girl who liked to lock herself in her room, when all of a sudden I became the girl who wanted to explore the world. I experienced my first plane ride and first out-of-Luzon vacation this year with new-found friends. Spending the trip with the right people is what made the experience more special and that’s one of the things I’m really thankful about. (An out-of-the-country trip for 2016? Why not!)

Fangirling

Apart from giving into my food cravings and planning trips, most part of this year was spent fangirling too. There’s That Thing Called Tadhana nationwide screening in February, World Premieres Film Festival in June, Kapeng Barako Club in September and Cinema One Originals in November. This year, I also found out about spoken word poetry and though I do not see myself performing, I loved watching artists deliver their heartfelt pieces. Case in point: Juan Miguel Severo.

Meanwhile, Korean dramas are just getting better each year. I wonder how they come up with such brilliant and creative story ideas. I definitely loved The Producers and I’m currently going gaga over the third show of the Reply series. On local TV, there’s the primetime game changer On The Wings of Love (directed by my favorite, Tonette Jadaone!) and, of course, the worldwide phenomenon that is AlDub. Call me jologs or whatever, but they made my fangirl heart really happy. I guess the the wanna-be screenwriter/storyteller in me found fuel for my passion by watching and learning from all of these films and shows. For that, they deserve a space on this post.

No lovelife? Just love life

Looking back at everything now, I see quite a lot of changes. Good thing, many of them were for the better. However, some things still stayed the same. I don’t know if I should be happy or what, but maybe there’s a reason why things stay the way they are.

The best example for this? The fact that I am still single.

So, here’s a confession: I tried a couple of dating apps this year. Obviously, the attempts weren’t as successful as I hoped them to be. I learned a few things about myself during the process though, and I guess that’s enough for now.

I realized that I am not fully ready for dating. Someone I met in one of the dating apps asked me out and invited me to grab some coffee. I think that’s just the normal thing to do if you want to get to know someone better. It was nice of him, but I declined. First, I have trust issues. Second, I just can’t. Maybe these are just my excuses, but I realized have so much to work to do regarding my self-esteem. There’s no need for me to rush, right? My pessimistic alter ego tells me that being 23 and single is not fun, but come to think of it, this has perks too. I’ll just enjoy it for now while making myself a better person so when the right time comes, I’ll have no more doubts. I hope time will come when I won’t make invites for coffee such a big deal and instead see it as an opportunity to make new friends and expand horizons.

To sum it all up, my 2015 had its own highs and lows. It wasn’t exactly the “best year ever,” but it is surely way better than the past years of my life.

I am looking forward to 2016 and the new opportunities it will bring. Here’s to a fresh start for all of us!

P.S. I’d like to end this by jokingly wishing to have a career in the film industry in 2016 or, at least, be able to finish screenplays that would later be useful to me. Oh, and an opportunity to have a book published, perhaps? I hope that’s not too much to ask. 😉

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